A Question of Conscience

My brother asked me to be Aramelle's (my niece) godmother a while back. Only problem is I'm not eligible because I haven't gone through all the Catholic sacraments. Neither has my brother. So, I decided to sign up for religious initiation classes so that I could be confirmed. I thought it'd be a nice way for me to bond with my brother, who also signed up for the classes, and a way to get closer to my niece.

Wednesdays are Bible school night. And for the most part I've been able to attend classes and listen in a constructive manner. I've taken it more as a religious education class as opposed to what I assume most of the other participants are getting out of it, which is a deeper understanding and profession of thier faith. But, this Sunday we have to take part in an Acceptance Ceremony and go in front of the whole congregation and formally accept the Catholic faith as our own. While going over the schedule, one of the facilitators made a comment that sent me into freak out mode. She said, "so this is it, if this isn't for you, now's your chance to turn tail and run!"She laughed as she said it, and so did everyone else, but at that moment I saw myself not coming back to class. I felt like a fraud and questioned whether or not I could keep coming to class.

I've always had a "to each his own" standpoint when it came to religion. That is, if you believe in a God and follow a faith, then your beliefs are what follow you in death. Up until this point, though, I guess I'd classify myself as an agnostic. And now I fear that going up in front of this congregation, professing a belief in a faith (which I still don't consider my own) is now going to commit me to its tenets for all eternity. I know it's a little dramatic, but I'm having real question of conscience moment.